Even though we all had a hole in our hearts after just having lost our dear sweet Ben, we had our traditional Christmas day dinner. I made a placecard for everyone with their picture on it, just for fun... I made one for Ben, with one of my favorite pictures of him and added an image of an angel with a halo (image attached). I sat the place card right next to me. We felt better just having his picture there. My Mom also put pictures of Ben on the Christmas tree. We didn't discuss or plan this beforehand with each other... it just became obvious that we were all really feeling the loss and came up with our own little ways of having Ben, our angel, there with us. We spoke to him, included him in our prayer and spoke about him with our 'remember the time...' and 'if Ben were here, he'd probably be...' stories. On New Year's Even, we went to the place we usually go on this day, and we all felt a void as Ben has gone with us on this day to this location. We didn't expect Ben to leave us as soon as he did. I wasn't ready. He wanted nothing more than to 'go home' and being a smart sweet man who knew what he wanted, he somehow did just that. Ben is now entertaining those who have gone before him with his stories and anecdotes, smiling that sheepish little grin with the twinkle in his eye. If Heaven is made of all good things, which I know it is, he's still having his chocolate for breakfast and watching Soccer games. Who knows - he may be up there PLAYING soccer or telling the coaches of the strategic changes they should consider. I know you're watching us... I know you're watching over me. As you know, sometimes I talk to you. I miss you, Ben. I'll be talkling to you soon. Love, Denise